Jealousy is...

Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius.- Fulton J. Sheen

Having been a tom boy for most my life I never understood jealousy. As a tom boy I was used to hanging with boys who were direct, less judgmental than girls, and not so much into competition outside of sports. Most people that know me can attest to the fact that I am a person who likes to be accepted for who I am or not at all. I don't like to play games and I don't pretend to be anything I am not.

Most females are brought up looking at other females as competition, who is prettier, who is thinner, who has the best boyfriend/husband, who has the better job, who can eat a shit ton of pizza and not gain a pound, who gets more free drinks at clubs, etc. Which is really just a waste of energy and time. It's not important.

My husband always tells me not to stress over the things I cannot change, with me that stress is wasted on bills, plans, etc. Hardly ever do I waste my time on jealousy. I've tried my best to realize that instead of being jealous over someone's accomplishments I should be positive and work harder to accomplish my own goals.

Not only does this translate into my life of being a woman, but in being a musician as well. We hear of bands we don't care for being signed or getting a break. Instead of wasting time and breath on negativity towards that I welcome it, if they can do it so can I.

I think a lack of jealousy definitely shines through as strong self-confidence. If you're happy with yourself you don't waste your energy being nasty or rude to other people, especially to other females.

I am also not intimidated by other successful women, I love them. I love that they have worked hard to get to where they are and they can probably teach me something awesome.

I mentioned before that these last couple years I have been able to find a great group of other down to earth, kick ass chicks that are my friends. Real friends not nasty jealous fake friends who feel the need to put other people down to make themselves feel good or talk bad about people behind their back.

If you're surrounded by the fake type, then you might be getting sucked into a nasty vortex of jealousy and negativity. Cleanse yourself, get some distance and reevaluate that friendship.

As you get into your late twenties/early thirties I believe you realize that strong positive friendships are far more nurturing.

I can tell you from experience, it's a great thing to wake up in a few months after mourning a broken friendship to realize all it was doing was holding you down.

Don't waste any time on vapid jealousy, it will cover you in a mask of bitter nastiness and you'll come across as insecure and miserable.