In The Moment: TiLT

Source:honestfare.com

1. On Monday I started a 30 day challenge of having one green smoothie a day. Motivated by simplegreensmoothies.com I have found a lot of great recipes that are hassle free and super yummy. My smoothie today was a variation of the Pumpkin Spice smoothie with apple instead of banana.

2. I also started taking Forskolin to aide in circulation and thyroid issues I've been having as of late.

3. My son is now a 3rd grader. He's so smart and growing so fast my heart aches.

4. My wonderful husband is working a new job that is great but kicking his butt with twelve hour days and six day work weeks. This is the hardest job he's had in the almost fifteen years we've been together. I am so proud of him, but I miss him a lot now.

5. Our beautiful new house is amazing. We had a great house-warming party last weekend with our wonderful friends. My best friends Petrina and Erin made a hashtag for our dog Barley's balls which they felt were more prominent than usual. And they ARE referring to the balls you're thinking of.

6. Dany dog is getting huge and is a trouble maker for sure.

7. My band is playing the House of Blues on Saturday as the freaking headliner. I am beyond stoked and just a little nervous.

The $400 Lesson

About 13 years ago we met this group of guys in a band that were immensely talented and right out of high school.  We quickly became friends and hung out quite a bit. They even played mine and Brian's joint bachelor/bachelorette party.
One of the guys was Shaun. He was a super talented guitar player, hilarious smart ass, and after a while was like a brother to Brian and I. He moved in with us as a roommate and we had a blast together.
He moved out for about eight months and moved back in while I was nine months pregnant with Hayden.
Right after I had the boy and was getting used to taking care of a new baby Shaun had moved his girlfriend into his room without talking to us, and they were causing HUGE messes and not cleaning up after themselves. Also, Shaun starting taking pills. His attitude and his respect for everyone completely changed with the pills; a lot of back stabbing, disrespect and lying. We tried to talk to him about everything but he didn't give a crap what we thought and conversations turned to arguments and he moved out.
Our bands still played shows together occasionally over the next few months but not without him making rude remarks and being a real dick to us. Soon thereafter we heard that his girlfriend broke up him, he was kicked out of his band and he got fired from his job.

Lets fast forward now to two weeks ago.  We hadn't seen Shaun in eight years. He had reached out last year via phone and facebook telling us he had been through some shit and wanted to come visit us in Vegas soon but he didn't follow up with it. But two weeks ago he reached out to me via facebook and said he was about to be homeless and needed some help. I immediately offered to get him a bus ticket and get him here. It took him two extra days due to him having issues like "having a seizure while getting off the bus and hurting his knee causing the driver to make him go to the hospital" and "not being able to get on the second bus because thats same bus driver had reported him to security."

So as soon as he got here we hugged and listened to his stories of all this bad shit and crap luck he had. Most of it seemed like he had some moments of bad judgement and had a few bad friends that had attributed to the issues. He also seemed really appreciative of the time he had lived with us before and had missed that over the last eight years.
We had a friend that could get him a job right away and we started the process he needed to get an id.  But for a week he sat around the house not wanting to work, not wanting to go anywhere with us or get the paperwork done to finish the process. He also didn't shower, brush his teeth and drank all the alcohol we had in our freezer.
Sunday we had our son's birthday party. When we returned Shaun was belligerent drunk. He went upstairs to his room and we heard him fall or drop something super heavy. We tried to check on him fearing he had a "seizure" which he had claimed to have often. He didn't have a seizure but had made the room a mess and couldn't even stand up.
The next day when I got home from work I tried to talk to him and asked out of respect for us trying to help him that he get off his ass, stop getting belligerent drunk, and start helping himself.
That night at like 9pm we heard a huge crash from his room. When Brian checked on him he  was drunk again, had taken a bunch of advil pm and had thrashed the room even further completely destroying a whole bookcase with stuff from our wedding on it. He also thrashed our bathroom.
Brian had reached his breaking point and told him he was done here and that we would be taking him back to the bus station in the morning.
So at 7:45am the next morning I gave him $200 and dropped him off at the bus station.

So my $400 lesson= Never helping out a former friend again. 
-$150 for the bus ticket here from Washington
-$50 for his rushed birth certificate (charged but he never completed the process so I paid for nothing)
-$200 for him to leave our house.

We figured out after he was gone that he had been drinking rubbing alcohol on top of regular alcohol. He left some pretty gnarly dirty clothes stashed in our guest room, thrashed the room, and lied to us about a lot of stuff.
He's not the first friend we tried to help that took advantage and let us down but he is the last.

Hiatus over

Blogging for me isn't just about putting a bunch of words onto the screen and hoping people read it. I write from my heart and try to share my experiences to better help those maybe dealing with the same type of stuff. So I took a break to deal with some stuff and in turn had sort of a writers block.
So now that the stuff has been dealt with I can clear away the blockage and share once again.

A few months ago new management came in at my job and started rearranging things, changing things, and in turn I started to not feel comfortable in my career there. Without getting into the dirty details I felt it necessary for me to move on.
This wasn't an easy decision for me. I am walking away from the newspaper industry that I have been in for 15 years. Switching jobs is nerve racking and has been giving me some pretty weird dreams.

Yesterday I accepted a position at a new company that I am super excited about. I start in a week and a half. I have a few days off so I am catching up on some needed ME time.

I also need to share our awesome new addition to the family. Our new puppy Daenerys.

She's the most awesome little puppy and she's getting spoiled by all of us. Its been nine years since we had a puppy in the house and I think the cuteness made us forget about the every four hours pooping, the little sharp puppy teeth and the shots. But it's definitely worth it in the overall.

I will be trying to post on a regular basis now that the smoke has cleared.

Me time

Mothers get just 17 minutes of 'me time' according to The Daily Mail.
Lately with my husband and I commuting together, band practice twice a week and catching up on chores on the weekends I haven't gotten any true ME TIME in weeks.  I really feel that as soon as you decide to be a mom you give up the "me time" mentality. Yes being a mom is work most of the time but it's work I appreciate.

I am blessed with at least an hour each weekend morning when my husband makes breakfast and my son is playing with his toys. I drink my coffee and watch my dvr'd shows but both my boys are in the same area as me and most shows are interrupted with "Can I have a glass of milk?" "Can you help me build this super amazing batman house that the joker and the green ninja will try to destroy ten minutes after we finish it?" or "I forgot to buy eggs can you run to the store? We also need twenty more things here's a list."

Often I am asked how I juggle a full time career, being a mom, being a wife and being in a band. Career, Mom, Wife, Singer those are just four words but there are millions more that define them. So many of us these days are much more than just a mom. We live in an age of consistent multi-tasking.
I owe a lot of my juggling ability to my husband. We are definite partners. He takes on his own responsibilities of having a career, being a father, being a husband and a drummer. We aide each other when it's needed. We lean on each other when we are tired or stressed or overwhelmed.
We also appreciate each other, like a lot.

I am lucky that I have an amazing partner, who when he reads this will definitely suggest I take some me time when ever I need it.
Some women are single moms and don't have someone else to aide the juggling.
I have a coworker who has twin four year old girls and is a single mom. She shows up to work every day clothed, with fresh hair and make-up, and does her job without falling asleep or apart. This is much more work than what I juggle and I commend her for her ability.
I asked her when the last time was that she had "Me time" and she answered September of 2013.
So yeah, things aren't bad in my life.

Yes, I like my job

I was asked yesterday what I like about my job. As most salespeople my first thought was "the money," but my words came out as "I enjoy working with a client to come up with a unique campaign and targeting the right audience for that campaign to be successful." Both are the truth but the latter is definitely more satisfying.

I work at a newspaper as a digital salesperson. I sell online marketing to big and little companies.

When I was in high school I wanted to work at a newspaper or a magazine. It was my dream.
At fifteen I wrote for a newspaper in Washington's youth page. They wrote a bio about me and asked where I saw myself at twenty five. I said " Working at a newspaper or magazine and living in San Francisco." 

 At twenty five I worked at a newspaper as a graphic designer about 40 miles from San Francisco. After years as a zine publisher and over a decade as a designer I made a huge switch to the digital part of the newspaper and then to the sales part. I accomplished those dreams or rather a slightly different version of a better paid dream.

I really do enjoy my job. I enjoy being on top of the constantly changing digital world.

For so long I just wanted to be a graphic designer; a creative guru I didn't think I would enjoy the dark side of selling advertising to people. I was wrong and I was broke back then. There are many other ways I use my creativity in my job. And it pays the for my wonderful hobby of singing in a band.

A quote I found a couple weeks ago from the great Maya Angelou-
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”

Find what you like and do it. Be direct , be a bitch with what you want and need to be happy. It's your life only you can control your destiny. 

Jealousy is...

Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius.- Fulton J. Sheen

Having been a tom boy for most my life I never understood jealousy. As a tom boy I was used to hanging with boys who were direct, less judgmental than girls, and not so much into competition outside of sports. Most people that know me can attest to the fact that I am a person who likes to be accepted for who I am or not at all. I don't like to play games and I don't pretend to be anything I am not.

Most females are brought up looking at other females as competition, who is prettier, who is thinner, who has the best boyfriend/husband, who has the better job, who can eat a shit ton of pizza and not gain a pound, who gets more free drinks at clubs, etc. Which is really just a waste of energy and time. It's not important.

My husband always tells me not to stress over the things I cannot change, with me that stress is wasted on bills, plans, etc. Hardly ever do I waste my time on jealousy. I've tried my best to realize that instead of being jealous over someone's accomplishments I should be positive and work harder to accomplish my own goals.

Not only does this translate into my life of being a woman, but in being a musician as well. We hear of bands we don't care for being signed or getting a break. Instead of wasting time and breath on negativity towards that I welcome it, if they can do it so can I.

I think a lack of jealousy definitely shines through as strong self-confidence. If you're happy with yourself you don't waste your energy being nasty or rude to other people, especially to other females.

I am also not intimidated by other successful women, I love them. I love that they have worked hard to get to where they are and they can probably teach me something awesome.

I mentioned before that these last couple years I have been able to find a great group of other down to earth, kick ass chicks that are my friends. Real friends not nasty jealous fake friends who feel the need to put other people down to make themselves feel good or talk bad about people behind their back.

If you're surrounded by the fake type, then you might be getting sucked into a nasty vortex of jealousy and negativity. Cleanse yourself, get some distance and reevaluate that friendship.

As you get into your late twenties/early thirties I believe you realize that strong positive friendships are far more nurturing.

I can tell you from experience, it's a great thing to wake up in a few months after mourning a broken friendship to realize all it was doing was holding you down.

Don't waste any time on vapid jealousy, it will cover you in a mask of bitter nastiness and you'll come across as insecure and miserable.

I am an adler

According to Celtic Astrology you were born under the Alder moon, the fourth moon/month in the Celtic calendar, a time of new growth and rebirth and finding a balance between work and play. Alders have a defence against rotting in water and are used to build bridges, boats, wooden shoes/clogs and milk jugs and was considered to be a crime to fell an alder, as the angry tree spirit was believed to burn down dwellings.

Being born at this time professes that you are the doers of the Celtic Zodiac. This is the time to make your business and academic ventures work, to sew the seeds of success. You are a busy person who likes to take on new projects. You must however allow yourself to take time out other wise you may find yourself burnt out and having to rebuild again and again.

Animal: Bear
In Celtic Astrology the animal associated with March 18 – April 14 is the Bear whose Gaelic name is Art (pronounced as AiRCH). (Cutios is the Celtic name for this season and means windy time.)

Bear people are primitively powerful, courageous, playful and extrovert with an inherited sixth sense, they are sensitive to the mystical side of life and very connected to their native roots. They are extremely protective of their loved ones, have a great sense of adventure and like to roam the land.

Google Celtic Astrology to find what your tree is.

The post about my breasts

My breasts, they came suddenly one night when I was seventeen. So suddenly I had to slather them in royal jelly cream to diminish the stretch marks. So suddenly a couple days after they arrived my ex step-mom said so respectfully "Honey, you need to start wearing a bra. That's ridiculous," as she pointed at my chest. They had gone from an A cup to a C cup overnight and my tom boy self didn't know how to handle it. I eventually bought a bra, got my first real boyfriend, and came to appreciate them.
Then I had a child, while pregnant I went all the way up to a double D. THAT WAS RIDICULOUS. The pain, the swelling, the leaking, the uncomfortable bras all were no fun. Breastfeeding changed them a bit, and when that ridiculousness stopped they went down to a regular D. Between you and me, I like them just the way they are. My husband might love them more than me but that's ok.

A couple weeks ago I had a little health issue. My lymph nodes had been swollen for a week and were causing a lot of pain. I went to my doctor and she was concerned when she felt them so she scheduled me a couple of ultrasounds. She mentioned lymphatic cancer and breast cancer almost as if she wanted me to have a heart attack right there. So my nerves went bezerk. This all happened two days before our planned trip to Disneyland.

Disneyland was a nice distraction but once we returned home my nerves started up again.
I'm 33, I haven't had any major health issues since I was a child yet I've been witness to people going through major health issues and I felt like a wimp. Like a big WIMP.
I was seriously stressed over not knowing. Just having my doctor ask me if anyone in my family has had cancer and or specifically breast cancer while holding a clip board was scary.
The aches in the middle of the night kept me awake. The thought of having fingers prodding my armpits, needles stealing my blood and ultrasound goo on my skin gave me weird dreams.

It seemed a little ironic that I would be worrying about breast cancer this month of all months in the year. October, you know the pink month. Everywhere I looked there was a reminder of my worries.
I was also stressed about the possibility of losing, in my opinion my best physical assets.

I had my follow up yesterday with the doctor after two ultrasounds and two weeks of worry. Truth be told I was a WIMP who was worried for nothing.
There were no abnormalities on my breast or my hip other than my mutant lymph nodes which were probably swollen due to ... wait for it... ALLERGIES.

Brian and I are very grateful that there is nothing seriously wrong. I'm rewarding myself with a new bra.

GREEK: My guilt obsession and a hilarious Sorority sister after my own heart

I didn't go to college. Honestly being in a band for ten plus years has been similar to what I think being in college is like.
At first it was all party, practice, party, practice and shows. Then after a few years, we declared our major by getting serious in recording, show booking, getting some recognition with an award, great reviews and decent merch. Then for the last few years we've been in graduate school continuing to record, getting better shows, better merch and occasionally traveling for shows. We get paid a little to keep us a afloat and we've gained a reputation. So pretty soon .bipolar. will have earned a masters degree in being an unsigned band.

My point to this observation of collegian comparison is that I'm not-so-secretly obsessed with the show Greek. It's on Netflix and I'm watching all of the episodes for the second time.
I suggest if you have a penchant for college age comedy that you check it out. Here's a clip of some of the funny stuff from my favorite character Cappie.



If I had been in college I'm sure I wouldn't have been in a sorority but I'm equally as sure that I WOULD have attended some Frat parties.

Totally random note on the topic of college and sororities: I ran across this letter from a Sorority sister addressing her fellow sisters. Warning: it's full of cuss words and is definitely hilarious, ie: CUNT PUNT.
She then was asked by her sorority leaders to resign. I want to find her and recruit her to my secret metal loving, no bullshit taking, no patience for retarded people, skull wearing, too-old-for-college sorority LIKE. NOW.

OH and then I found THIS: Which makes it THAT.MUCH.BETTER

Inspiration comes at odd times in odd forms

Maybe it's the weather. Maybe an unidentified lull washed over me. Whatever "it" is I feel like I am crawling out of it. For a few months now I have been on kind of a creative break.
I haven't been able to write lyrics that I was happy with and I definitely wasn't inspired by anything. Then I started playing around with spotify and discovering new music. It's like Pintrest for Music sometimes and can pull me right out of an inspiration funk.

I discovered Marina and The Diamonds a few weeks ago which led me to Frightened Rabbits.



Then I stumbled upon this video from  an older band called Battles who do this song Atlas which is on one of the Little Big Planet games.




It's odd sometimes, finding music so strange and different from what we tend to write (metal) being inspirations for some of the better lyrics. I thought I'd share. Who knows you might get a little inspired.

Birthdays, Great Friends, Spa Days

I turned 33 on Saturday. It was the best birthday I have ever had. Friday night my guitar player Rob and his girlfriend Claudia treated Hayden and I to dinner. We had Cheesecake Factory and the food was great. When the server asked us if we wanted any desert Hayden said "I want cake..." then he tapped my shoulder slyly with a smirk and whispered "Mom, it's for you."
"Oh, that's ok. I don't need any cake," I said.
"It's my mom's birthday tomorrow, you should bring her something," He exclaimed.
So they brought me a sundae and sang Happy Birthday.
My kid knows how to embarrass me already.

Saturday morning I got my personalized license plates from the DMV finally.

Brian had a special surprise for me planned. He told me to pack up a swim suit and get in the car.

He did so great! He planned a Spa Day for me. I got to relax in a jacuzzi then I was treated to a body scrub/massage and a milk bath. It was amazing!

We then had a party at a bar close to our house that we enjoy a lot called Born and Raised. 

My friends were so great and  we had an amazing time.

Next year's bday will have a hard time comparing to this one.

Weekend Redux: California Dreaming

This past weekend we went on a vacation to Southern California. Originally this week was supposed to be spent in Florida with my mom and stepdad. But my mom's dad, my grandpa passed away last Tuesday.
My mom had to cancel to our plans to tend to some sad details in Northern California.

With time off I figured we could switch gears and go to a Pacific beach instead. We had a few friends we could visit and the forecast was sunny.

We left early Saturday morning and drove straight to Whittier to meet up with our friend Heather and her son (Hayden's BFF Julian). We spent the day hanging out with them at the park then went to our hotel in Long Beach for a while before catching dinner. Sunday we spent the day with Brian's long time friend Damon and his girlfriend Claudia in Santa Monica. We walked down the beach to the pier. Hayden rode the carousel and we enjoyed the beautiful scenery.
When we returned to our hotel later that night I was sunburned and the hotel's wonderful heated pool was calling my name.

Monday we got to attend a going away party for Heather and Steve who are moving to VEGAS! We're beyond stoked and felt a little guilty hanging with their Cali friends who are sad to see them go.
Here are some wonderful pictures from our trip!

Thanks-

I am thankful for so much. My wonderful family, amazing friends,  great career, a fun and talented band and all the happiness my life is full of.


I sat down this morning to explain Thanksgiving to my son.  I wanted to know what he thought of it. He said it was a day to eat food and have a party. He's not wrong. We do this every year.

I tried to tell him about the Pilgrims and the real history of this celebration.
He said " I know Mom, we read a book in school called The First Thanksgiving," complete with eye rolls.
He told me the cookie cutter version.
I expounded with the history of the Native Americans and how even though the Pilgrims and the English came into their land as strangers they helped the pilgrims survive.

 This is Massasoit, read about his legacy on wikipedia.  He prevented the failure of Plymouth Colony and the almost certain starvation of the Pilgrims. He kept his people from converting to Christianity. He pushed peace between tribes and the English. He was a great man, and the main reason there is Thanksgiving.

The sad facts of American history are too much to explain to a six year old but I do want him to know as much truth as he can comprehend. He wanted to know more about the Native Americans, but after a few more sentences, he got bored and ran upstairs to play video games.

I hope everyone is having a great Thanksgiving. Be mindful of our history in this country but grateful that we've come far for human rights. We have even further to go still and I believe we are a country changing for the better.

To Vote or Not To Vote

The fact that voter records are public is one of the main reasons I don't like to vote.

I don't like the phone calls, the mail, and all the crap that the greedy people who get my public information do with it.

It's my right to vote, but it's also my right not to be pestered. 

During Woodrow Wilson's term hundreds of women fought for my right to vote. They were beaten, arrested, and publicly humiliated. And here I am complaining about some extra mail.

 For the most part I've kept my opinions to myself. But I live in a battleground state here in Nevada and this is the first time that I feel like vote might actually matter.  So I am voting today for the first time.

And even though I don't care much for Lena Dunham, I did like her commercial and thought it was ridiculous that there was a controversy over it.

Chill

Full time work, band, parenting. Sometimes it feels like I never have a moment to catch up on "me" stuff.
Today Hayden and I are spending a day off together. He had no school so I took a vacation day.
We've done some house work, errands, and a little cooking.  Now, we're just relaxing playing video games and making up stories to draw pictures to.

It's nice to step back from the everyday chaos and just chill.

Weekend Redux: Lost tooth, flaky babysitters and paper bats.

Friday Hayden lost a tooth at school and carried it around all day. He said he was asked by the other kids if they could touch it and he only let them touch it with one finger so it wouldn't get dirty. 

Saturday night we had plans to go to our friends birthday party at a karaoke bar. I had set up a sitter two weeks before and even confirmed with her Friday during the day. She was set to show up at 8:45pm. At 8:42pm I texted to see if she was on her way. She texted back that she wouldn't be able to make it, that she had been called in to work.  Flaky people are my WORSE pet peeve. She had sat for us before and said how much she enjoyed it. So whatever, now I have to find a new sitter. AGAIN. 

I went to the birthday party and Brian stayed home with Hayden. Having worked all day he was pretty worn out anyhow.
Sunday we decided to bring out our Halloween decor and make some awesome bats to take over our front door and a big blank space behind our TV.
They came out pretty cool, and we might want to leave them up year round.

I LOVE decorating for Halloween. Every year though I go to pull stuff out and things are broken or smooshed. I lost a sad little pumpkin candle holder this year and some of my outside guys need new lights.

I have some projects in mind and should be able to post them up in the next week or so!

Making Shit Happen, Fall, and more Skulls

On January 1 of this year Brian and I made a pact that this was 2012: MAKE SHIT HAPPEN.

So far so good. We have done so much to make our lives better, healthier, and happier. 

We eliminated some bullshit, de-cluttered the mess of other people's drama that was lying around, and have patched up the holes that made our own drama. 

We're in a really great-happy-shiny-riding-unicorn-type of place right now and it's pretty damn sweet.

But I don't want to gloat here, I mean I do, but you'll all hate me so I'm gonna write something else now. 

FALL!

So fall is here, although the Vegas weather doesn't show it.

I'm excited to shop for more skull stuff to decorate my house! I was already able to get a few things.

This awesome cookie jar and a skull backpack. 

Now that I was able to buy a car I can start focusing on re-decorating my house just in time for Halloween!

I am also excited for the not so hot weather!

TILT-While I'm sick.

Hayden came home with some cold that then infected me. The problem with me getting sick is that I first jump to the conclusion that it's just allergies and my sinuses are trying to kill me. So I take some non-drowsy allergy medicine, sleep with the warm humidifier on and avoid all the other symptoms.
Then I get sicker, and sicker, and end up with a temperature of 102 and no energy to do anything but lay on the couch mad at Netflix for not offering more shows and movies I actually want to watch.

I am very grateful to have a partner and a son who don't mind taking care of me when I am out of commission. Brian cooks me food and runs errands for me while Hayden takes my temperature twenty gazillion times and hands me tissues whether I need them or not.

Here are some of the awesome things I love while I am ill.

1. Fuzzy Skull Blanket. (you can find one just like it here) 2. Sweet Apple Chamomile  Tea.
3.Warm Mist Humidifier 4.Practical Magic One of my favorite movies. 5.Microsuede Body Pillow Cover 6. The most comfy sweat pants ever. 7. Potato, Broccoli and Cheese Chowder  8 A giant mug for all the tea and soup .Fiesta 18-Ounce Jumbo Cup

The Bitch is Back

As I mentioned before my favorite approach is the direct approach. With work it's become more apparent that I can't ever get what I want or deserve unless I am direct with the powers-that-be and my coworkers.

With my band it's the same philosophy. I am direct with promoters, fellow band members, other bands, and venues on what we can do, what we can't do, and what we will absolutely not do.

I used to be afraid of coming off like a "bitch". It's a harsh label that over time I've come to accept.
Cause as Tina Fey says "Bitches get stuff done."

Here's a great article that I found regarding this same subject:

How Bitches Get Ahead in Business

This is exactly my sediments for work, band, and relationships.

Direct is my favorite approach

When I was in high school I used a pseudonymn and an underground zine to express my emotions and angst.    I was taught to be seen not heard and my opinions or emotions didn't matter.
As an adult I became much more direct with expressing myself. In music, writing, here on my blog, and in normal conversation I am direct. I'm honest and I do my best to follow through with my word. I know what I want, I know how to get what I want and I speak my mind.
Sometimes this comes across as mean, blunt, or abrasive. But my intentions are not to be mean. Just because I'm direct doesn't mean I'm not emotional. I get hurt, I get sad, I get fearful of the reactions of others and I get melancholy just like every one else.
But I've found the best way to get somewhere is head first. It worked for me when I was unhappy with my job a year and a half ago. I spoke with my boss and told her that the position I had been shuffled into wasn't my bag and that I wanted more. When a better position opened up she recommended me for it and now in that position I again spoke with my boss about what I wanted and how I could better the department by doing it and now I have what I asked for.
I don't beat around the bush mostly cause I don't want anyone to be confused with what I'm expressing.

I came across this post Always Be Direct (with love). Which has been (partially) my manifesto for years.
Sometimes the "LOVE" part is difficult. Even though I feel the good intentions doesn't mean my mouth or my body language express that. Poor Brian has been the brunt of these occasions.
Good friends will sometimes ask me for advice because of my head-first-ness but sometimes the best advice is the advice you don't want to hear. And I don't claim that my advice is the best but you know, you asked for it.

If you constantly candy coat stuff or beat around the bush no one will know what you want, expect or need. No one is a mind reader, well at least no one I know.