As I mentioned before my favorite approach is the direct approach. With work it's become more apparent that I can't ever get what I want or deserve unless I am direct with the powers-that-be and my coworkers.
With my band it's the same philosophy. I am direct with promoters, fellow band members, other bands, and venues on what we can do, what we can't do, and what we will absolutely not do.
I used to be afraid of coming off like a "bitch". It's a harsh label that over time I've come to accept.
Cause as Tina Fey says "Bitches get stuff done."
Here's a great article that I found regarding this same subject:
This is exactly my sediments for work, band, and relationships.