The First Day of Kindergarten

On Friday we attended the Kindergarten meet and greet at Hayden's school. It was horrible chaos. SO many kids, so many rude parents. I was ready to get the hell out of there in ten seconds but had to get information that took twenty minutes to attain. Brian had made the mistake of telling Hayden that if he didn't like his new class he didn't have to go to school. So right about when I was ready to get the hell away from the crowd Hayden was over it and had decided he didn't want to go to school.
All weekend he was anxious in anticipation of the impending doom of kindergarten.
I took Monday off work so I could take him to school and comfort him as much as possible beforehand.
Brian got home from work in time to come take him with me. We walked up to the school where we had been for the meet & greet and started to walk into the hallway when a school employee called at us "Where are you going?" in a rude voice. Brian replied "Um, to the Kindergarten class." And we were firmly told we were not to go that way and that the class didn't open for fifteen more minutes.
There were no balloons, no welcome of any sort for the kids. There were no signs to direct us new parents to the place we needed to drop off our anxious kindergarteners. It was a completely different route from the meet and greet and the school employees were not very nice to us confused parents.
So we waited outside for in the 108 degree Las Vegas heat for the playground gates to let us in.
Then Hayden started crying. Not just a nervous cry but a wailing "Get me the hell out of here! I told you people I don't want to be here!" cry. And all the other kids and parents watched. We tried for almost ten minutes to calm him down. We pulled out the big guns with threats of returning new video games but he wouldn't budge, he just cried louder.

When they opened the gates to the playground the other kids rushed in to play. He just stood with his head down wailing. A teacher came up and smiled at us gingerly and said "I had four of these this morning." Which was probably an attempt to comfort me but instead made me wonder "WHY MY KID!" Why did my kid have to be THE ONE right now. No other kids were crying right now, just mine.

We walked him into his class and the teacher quickly told the kids to hang their backpacks up on a hook. As soon as he walked away from us to hang his bag he was done crying. I rushed out the door but Brian stood in the doorway with a crowd of parents making sure he was ok. I tried to tell him to leave before Hayden saw him and started crying but he asked if he was ok and Hayden said "Bye Daddy!" and went about his business.
I had really hoped the teacher would be a lot more accommodating to the parents sending their child into her care for the first time, but instead it was kind of like "Sit your kids down and get the hell out!"
I didn't get to talk to her at the meet and greet or on his first day. I understand that she's overwhelmed with parents and kids but really she's TEACHING MY KID so I'd like to at least have a five minute conversation with the chick.
Brian held my hand as we walked to the parking lot and squeezed it with love when he saw me crying.
We went home and hung out for the whole two and a half hours Hayden was at school.
We waited outside the same gate while the kids filed out. He was away from the group trying to find his sunglasses in his backpack and holding a hand puppet he had made. Brian called to him through the fence and he ran over to get in line.
"I LOVE SCHOOL! I WANT TO COME BACK!!!" he told us through the fence. We melted right there.

Shots again...the doom

Yesterday I had to ambush Hayden. He needed two more shots before school starts on Monday and since he remembers the last doctor's visit very vividly I knew it was not a good idea to forewarn him.
I picked him up from daycare early and he immediately knew something was up. He kept questioning me in the car on where we were going. He made jokes about going to Chuck E Cheese, the pinball hall or Super Hayden World which he described in detail.
We sang and talked and then when we parked at the doctors office he knew. He said "Why are we at the doctors? What are we doing here?" and started freaking out a bit. The waiting room was full of kids there for the same reason.
Once I signed in he asked me for the twentieth time "What are we doing here?" and I told him. He started crying hysterically. "I don't want a shot!!! I don't want to go to school!!!" It broke my heart. I tried to console him in the small waiting room with games on my phone. He calmed down playing Stupid Zombies.
When the nurse called us in he started freaking out again and wouldn't hold still for any of the necessary tests they had to do. The doctor came in and talked to us about the shots then left again leaving us waiting for the nurse for another fifteen minutes. When he saw the tray with the shots he again started freaking out. I held him with his face in my chest and away from the violence that was about to occur while she prepped. When she reached over to wipe his arm he flinched and cried thinking it was a shot, I let him look over she showed him the wipe and he laughed, then I buried his head back in my chest. Then in came the pain with one shot, the crying, the anger, the shock, and another shot. She handed me the shot record and left the room. He balled for a good five minutes while I held him and told him he didn't any more shots for a long time. I told him we could get ice cream and play video games since he was such a brave boy.  He calmed down while I wiped his tears and then we walked to the car.

The hardest part of being a parent is seeing your child in pain. Even the necessary pains like shots are heart wrenching. Watching his anxiety build up and feeling so responsible for it just sucks. I tried to explain the necessity of shots, to keep him from getting a horrible disease that could almost kill him. He listened but I'm sure he didn't get it.

Today we go to meet his new teacher and see his class. Monday is his first day of kindergarten.

TiLT: Links.

While the world is abuzz with the news of Steve Jobs stepping down I spent the last two days reading  and discovering interesting things on my iPhone...

-When Celebrities were Young - Is quite cool. I never imagined Martha Stewart being so haute.

-Postagram- Is an app that turns your Instagram photos into postcards and sends them to whomever you desire for only .99 cents.

-Da Breakup Song. A co-worker was telling me about a site where you can plug in your significant other's name and why you're breaking up with them and it will make a song about it. I googled it and found this. Although very hilarious this wasn't want she was talking about.

-100 Ways to be a Love Letter to the universe is a great mantra from GalaDarling. I'm working on myself a lot right now and this has helped.

-I picked up The Love Response book from the library on Monday. After only four days of reading it's already helped me tremendously. I'll post more about my self-fix-it stuff later but I will recommend this book for everyone.

Oh True Blood...How I Love Thee

Let me count the ways...

Joe Manganiello as Alcide

This seriously hot werewolf is even hotter in the new season. When I looked up his IMDB I found out he was once a roadie for Goldfinger...what? a band I've seen over a dozen times since I was 16 and I never once ran into him? That sucks.

And then there's Alexander Skarsgard as Eric

Who has been hot from the beginning. Although he played in Zoolander...



I just can't put into words how much I love this show. The drama, the magic, the atmosphere of it. It's just awesome.
Also, I went to high school with one of it's talented actresses Rutina Wesley.

Journey...

 In my journey to rediscover and fix myself; I realized I needed to get back to the things I love doing and one of them is skateboarding. It's seriously been years and now that I don't have my motorcycle anymore I need something to test my guts!

I got this BLANK Complete Longboard on Amazon. Then slapped a huge .bipolar. sticker on it. I ordered it on Thursday and got it Friday afternoon, not even 24 hours later. I took it for a couple rides down the street but with it being 106 degrees out I will be riding it mostly at night. 

School of Hard Rocks Lesson 7: Out of town shows

We all love playing out of town shows. I'm in the process of booking some out of town shows for us now for the first time in a couple years.
However, some bands don't do their research before they jump on an out of town show and research is really just common sense. Even when you're planning a tour you should be PLANNING it not just doing it.

The first step should be finding some bands in the town you're looking to play in that are similar to your band in sound. Facebook, Reverbnation.com. Craigslist, and BYOFL.org are great resources. Once you start sending out messages make sure you offer to trade, that means you'll hook them up in your town when they need it.
It's best to find a band to work with that has a draw obviously. You'll want a band with experience in the scene, not a band that just formed a few weeks ago and is booking their second show.

With most shows featuring four or five bands, you'll be better off being the only out of town on the bill if you can help it. A lot of bands like to take their friend's bands with them to help split costs and have hometown support but it's harder to get people to see more than one unknown band on a single bill.

Most tours have show dates that fall on a week day and in any town those are hard dates to get people to come out. Try playing in coffee shops or smaller clubs when you know you have a weekday.
Be realistic about your estimated draw on a Monday. Even with the local bands on the show, the draw isn't going to be huge on a Monday no matter where you are. A smaller club with a capacity of 80 packed with only 30 people is much better than a huge club of like 400 capacity. You'll have a better chance of a SOLD OUT show the smaller the venue is. And who doesn't love the words SOLD OUT on a show? It helps your resume and it makes the venue and local bands want to bring you back out.

Don't just depend on the local bands to promote the show. Make sure your blasting your social networks and posting ads on craigslist. The day of the show you can flyer in the town as well. Talk to people the fast food places, gas stations, etc and try to get them to come out. Before you play the town look for local music stores on Google you can hit up.

Make sure you have merch. You can't grow your fan base if you don't have things to leave behind. Even business cards with your websites on them are better than nothing.
If you have shirts and cds they help pay for your gas, food, hotels etc...again common sense.
I'm surprised how many bands come to Vegas empty handed.

.

Weekend Redux: Hard Rocking River Fun

Another amazing weekend comes to an end with a Monday morning coffee fueled blog post.
On Friday our good friend Dave treated us to a wonderful evening at the Hard Rock cafe were we got to watch Jay & Silent Bob get Old & Hollywood Babble On live. It was a great time!

Brian & Dave

Us 

This is the view from the Hard Rock's VIP room! 

We're playing Diablo's (The smaller club with red neon lights) this Thursday.

Then Saturday our awesome friends Shrapnull from Bullhead City, AZ, asked us to join them in rocking out on the Colorado River. We had a blast! While it was the all the guys' first time playing a show topless it was my first show in a bikini...so yeah it was freaking HOT out there.

Hayden was chilling after playing in the River and after like ten minutes was totally OVER it.

Luckily he calmed down and ended up falling a sleep with ear plugs in while we rocked out.

This was our view from the stage! Throughout the day boats, rafts, and jet ski's rode by as we played.

After we played our set the guys in Shrapnull all got up and jammed out some Pantera and Lamb of God songs. Then we got up and jammed out some Weezer. While we were finishing up a couple boats stopped right in front to watch. I watched a lady on one of the boats realize it was a chick singing then stand up and start screaming for me. It was pretty cool. We had so much fun, all the people were so great, and can't wait to get back up there.

Defining my style...Friday-Fashion or Lack Thereof

As I've stated many times on my blog, I'm the anti-girly girl and as much as I wish I was fashion forward I am not.
I read a lot of fashion blogs and love when the bloggers share their styles with self portraits.
I see a trend of hearts and bows, vintage looks inspired by Mad Men, and florals but I really don't lean towards any of those styles. I tend to be more outside the box I guess. I don't even know what I would classify my style. If I even have one.
I've been holding off on my Friday-Fashion or Lack Thereof posts because I really didn't know if anyone was into them, I mean this isn't a fashion blog.
If I did "lean" towards any style it would be rock n roll of course.
I have been watching the new season LA Ink and Kat Von D is designing her own fashion line. I kinda dig her style and like me it's so far from the trends. She rocks bikini tops, leather pants, high high heels and tattoos as accessories. She's grown a lot in her style since the first season too, incorporating a lot more color and less cut up t-shirts, but every girl's wardrobe grows when you got more money!
If I was as thin as her I would maybe as brave to rock the bikini tops. But I do rock the tight skinny jeans, an occasional cut up tee and the tattoos as accessories (on top of my favorite SKULLS too).
I'm learning how to rock in heels (6 shows down now!!)
So yeah I think my style is rock n roll.

Things I've Been Doing Instead of Blogging

1. Working like crazy. Still loving my new job.

2. Playing Stupid Zombies....I'm totally addicted.

3. Working on my fiction book. I've been writing a novel for a couple years now. It's been on my mind lately.

4. Working on music. We have a new song. I've been working on lyrics and inspiration.

Weekend Redux: Rocking it.

This weekend was a whirlwind for me.
Friday night I got a last minute invite to see WEEZER at the Red Rock Casino Pool. Which marked my fourth weekend show in a row at a casino pool.
It was amazing and my first Weezer show even though I've been a fan for many years. It was the most crowded of the four shows but still awesome! Rivers ended up in the pool during the last song.

Saturday our awesome friend Dave Serdinak took some new band photos for us.
We went to a park near some hills and tried to quickly get the photos done before we all melted in the ridiculous heat.

It was a little breezy on top of being hot, so my hair was getting blown every direction and my makeup was melting. I was wishing I had a stylist the whole time, since (as I posted on Friday) I'm not too good with hair and makeup but I did what I could.  Hayden was also running around the park but did a great job of not photo-bombing all our shots.

There was a boarded up house just outside the park. The front door was open so the guys peeked inside to find a mess of old magazines and destroyed walls. We got some great shots inside, although I was pretty sure someone from of The Hills Have Eyes was gonna pop out of a floor board or something.

 

I look really tan in this shot. Guess my afternoons at the pool are working better than I thought.

 

 

And here's Chris (our bass player) being a goofball.

Sunday I caught up on my housework, spent time at the pool, Rocked out on the RockBand then watched True Blood!

Anti-Girly Girl

I'm not a fashionista...but I watch Project Runway religiously.
I'm not a shoe or purse shopper. My favorite purses are around $12.99 and have skulls on them. Like this one I got at Ross for $12.99 that I had previously seen at the Betsey Johnson store with a girlfriend for much much much more.

My favorite shoes are Vans and Converse.
I'm not good at hair and makeup. No one really taught me.
When I was younger I was one of the guys. Played football, rode skateboards, and always came home with skinned knees and elbows.

I had a conversation the other day with a friend about being the mom of a boy versus being the mom of a girl. I was definitely built to be a mom of a boy. I probably would have died of a panic attack if I had a girl. But my friend mentioned to me that if I had a girl she'd probably be a lot like me, strong, independent and beating up the boys till high school when she would rebel against me like all teenage girls do.

I was more comfortable around boys then I was around girls growing up. Guys didn't play mind games for the most part, and they weren't too good to joke around and get dirty. Girls can be catty when you're always the new kid so it was much harder for me to make friends with them.
I was and am blunt. I say what I feel more often than keeping things to myself and most girls didn't like that.
My mom and grandma forced me into dresses for photos but I never really had a conversation with any adults in my life about sexuality, self worth or the heft of being female.
I was a late bloomer. This wasn't really a help when trying to make friends with girls. I remember when I was twelve, I was the new kid in the middle of the school year and I was a tom boy.  A certain group of girls didn't care too much for me hanging with the skater boys they were all giggling about so one very tall, much larger  girl kept picking on me. She and her friends went around telling everyone I stuffed my bra. Well, being I didn't have any boobs to fill a bra I didn't wear one. So one day she got in my face to start a fight with me and after she and her friends all laughed telling everyone I stuffed my bra I lifted my shirt up above my head and yelled "I DON'T EVEN WEAR A BRA!!!" That didn't help the situation at all and the girls continued to pick on me until it escalated into a fist fight, that made them leave me alone.

Even as a vocalist I tend to be influenced by male singers more than female.
For the most part I'm comfortable with who I am. There are moments in front of the mirror when I get frustrated that I can't style my hair like other women, feel comfortable in dresses and heels, or line my lids perfectly with eyeliner but I've become much more feminine over the last five years then I had ever been before. (Thank goodness for YouTube tutorials for makeup and hair.) I've also gained many more female friends then I had growing up. Most as tom-boyish as I am, others good for late night texts on which color dress to wear to a Spring wedding.

Tomboys RULE! Just saying...

Weekend Redux: Amazing!

This weekend was great! Unforgettable even!

Saturday night we got to see the Wailers (Bob Marley's band) and the 

Dirty Heads at the Beach at Mandalay Bay.

It was so amazing. The atmosphere was beautiful. 

We stood in the pool and felt as if we were on our own island. 

That's us on the left.  I'm not really that red, that's just the lighting.

The Wailers put on a great show with a wonderful vibe. So much love and positive energy flowed through everyone at the beach.

 

The Dirty Heads were beyond awesome! The music was great and they did an awesome cover of Paint it Black.

Brian and I danced and sang together in the glow of the stage lights enamored with the beautiful paradise around us.

♥♥♥