Daydream Believer and loss

On Monday May 20th Brian's mother Peggy passed away after a battle with numerous types of Cancer.  Brian was on the phone with his sister talking about the complications she was having that morning when it happened.
He was devastated. She had recently had a heart attack and we had planned on coming up that following Friday to see her.
Hayden really didn't understand and we weren't ready to explain.
We flew in to Washington to be with his family on Wednesday. It was the earliest we could leave.
I tried my best to help with what needed to be done but most was already handled.
Being there with him and his family was the first time I had experienced a loved ones death so closely.

His sister and brother-in-law carried the brunt of the planning and organizing and did a great job.
His father was strong and caring the perfect example of a good father comforting his children in a hard time.
Walking into the house Hayden immediately asked where Grandma was. I had to take him aside and explain as best I could.
"Honey, Daddy's mom, your Grandma passed away and that's why we're here. Everyone is sad and misses her so we need to be extremely good and nice."
His eyes got big and he gave me a hug, "Ok Mommy. I will be super good and hug Daddy a lot."
He was and he did.
As she was struggling with cancer for a while she left behind plans and things she knew would aide her family in the hurt and struggle of losing her. One of those items was a journal.

The service was Saturday at a local LDS church. It was a nice service and full of wonderful memories. Here's the memorial video the family put together.




After the service we all got together on Brian's brother's bus to hang out and talk away our tears.

The day after we wanted to do something different and give his dad some time to rest. We decided to visit Portland.
We headed to the Saturday Market (even though it was Sunday). It was cloudy and rained a little but otherwise the day was peaceful. We browsed through lots of art and crafts. We also stopped to take some goofy pictures.

Then we headed down to Mississippi St. where I found an awesome shop called Flutter. They had the most amazing Rose perfume ever among a bunch of other really cool items.

We then went on a walk through the beautiful neighborhoods and admired all the green beautiful plants we don't get a lot of in Vegas.

It was a well spent day.

We returned to his family and spent a few more hours.  Just like any family gathering it wouldn't be complete without some drama, but thats life.

We spent some good times with his family overall. Hayden had an good time with his cousins and will miss them all so much. Every time he makes a wish it's to see his cousins. "Hey Dad its 1:11 make a wish. I wish to see my cousins and get to play with them a lot." This happens daily.

We got back yesterday but bittersweetly are very glad to be home.

We will dearly miss Peggy.  Our hearts still ache but our minds know she is at rest now.

I've been waking up with random songs in my head (none from the video) and over coffee this morning Brian and I thought they had to be coming from her watching over us somehow. This morning it was Daydream Believer by the Monkees.

Dillinger Road Trip Plan

Our best friends Heather and Steve just moved to Las Vegas from Southern California in March.
Heather and I have a shared affinity for The Dillinger Escape Plan among other awesome things in common. Hell we've been friends for eight years and our boys were born only two days apart.

We found out a couple months ago that Dillinger was on tour but sadly not coming to Las Vegas. However, they had a show in a small venue in Anaheim. I quickly planned a road trip for us all to enjoy this anomaly.

We drove down Sunday, a day early to enjoy some sun on the beach. Our little family has done a few road trips since I got my car in September and we just love traveling together.

We had breakfast in Huntington Beach and spent most the day walking around enjoying the perfect weather and watching a surf competition. Hayden collected shells while Brian and I enjoyed the sand between our toes.

We returned to our hotel room late that evening and got to enjoy the entire half hour of Disneyland's amazing fireworks. It was a perfect ending to a great day!

The next day we had planned on going to Hollywood to flyer for our Roxy show next month but we got some sad news that made us just want to spend the rest of the day together as a family before the show that night.

We pulled our strength together and hooked up with Heather and Steve to get to the show.

The venue was very small and totally worth the drive. Steve found us a perfect spot right next to the stage but not in the middle of the pit. The first band Royal Thunder was good, the second band The Faceless did not disappoint, but The Dillinger Escape Plan is so freaking amazing I cannot properly describe them with words so just imagine me talking with my hands, doom hands.

They literally beat up the crowd with their brutal music and energy on stage. They played mostly all the songs I feel are their best, and then some off the new album. Seriously EVERY metal, post hardcore, metal core or whatever band genre is super cool and hard right now needs to watch this band and take lessons on how to put on a show.

On the last song of their set they welcomed everyone to join them on stage. Brian jumped on stage and ended up protecting the bass player from getting mauled by the carnivorous fans sweating and jumping and screaming uncontrollably. One of the carnivorous fans was trying to get the set list off the bass player's speaker cab and Brian watched as the bass player pulled it off crumpled it into a ball and shoved it into the guy's mouth then pushed his face out of the way.

The show was literally the best I have ever seen and a once in a lifetime experience.

Bubbles and girlfriends.

When I was in fifth grade and read the Babysitters' Club books I had always wanted a group of girlfriends that I could know forever and tell anything to. I moved around a lot. Went to five different elementary schools, two different junior highs and three different high schools.


Keeping friends when moving so much is super difficult.

In my early twenties most of my girlfriends were significant others of my guy friends. I planned girls night and hung out with them at parties or shows.


A couple of them have stuck with me as good friends the rest kind of faded away. It happens often with age, kids, and jobs. We get wrapped up our little self bubbles and lose contact or connection with those who aren't in them any longer.


Relationships with girls as friends can sometimes be as tumultuous as relationships with boys as boyfriends.


Sometimes friends hurt you. Sometimes they disrespect you and you stop talking for a while then forget why you were mad in the first place.


Sometimes they act weird around your husband/boyfriend throw themselves at him, or treat them as if they are their husband/boyfriend then talk shit about you behind your back and you have to just stop being friends all together.


Then sometimes they blow up at you when you're trying to be supportive and positive for them through a hard time in their life, treat you like a horrible person and then block your ass on facebook and not respond to any emails and then four years later start writing mean comments anonymously on your blog.

Last May I wrote about how I felt I didn't have many girlfriends any longer. Mostly because of that self bubble I put myself in.


Exactly a year later my sentiments are the opposite. I have a great group of girlfriends. NO DRAMA girlfriends at that and I feel like I could tell them anything and depend on them if I need to. We have a great time together and I love all of them. Some of them are moms, some are married, some are my super hot single friends, but most of all they're in my bubble.

Mother

We had a mellow Mother's Day full of reflection and appreciation of our little family. 

It was a hard day for Brian. His mom has been battling cancer on and off for six years and right now she's not doing well. He wanted to call her, but she isn't really able to chat on the phone right now.

Over the last four years we've been visiting his family on a regular basis to ensure that our relationship with them is strong. His family is great and is really there for each other in this hard time. He's been dealing with the possibility of her passing any day now for four years. 

From a couple years ago Brian's brother, his mom and him.

It's hard watching my best friend go through this. I am doing my best to be supportive but the emotions he's going through I've never experienced. 

I even googled stuff to make sure I am truly doing my best. I found this thread http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/39943685.aspx

and a lot of the comments have helped.

We're going to visit next week and it will be Brian's chance to spend some final time with his mom. Right now I'm being his linebacker, protecting him from the hard hits as best I can. But there's only so much I can do and the rest just requires a hand to hold. 

What are your experiences with loss or supporting someone going through loss?

The Floor- DomRock Decor

Before 

After

Last weekend we had the kitchen floor redone. For almost four years the horrible white linoleum was a huge pain for me. I tried everything from hand scrubbing to a steam mop but it never felt clean enough.

We found a great vinyl tile that was affordable and easy to install. Installation took about eight hours and the price was under $200. 

It's so much nicer now and we all love it.

We're now shopping around for a new table. The current table isn't really our style with white tile top and white wood chairs. It was a hand down from my Aunt and Uncle in California. We've had the table for eight years and have been able to hide it under a cool skull tablecloth. I'd really like to find one I don't have to hide. I also need something big enough for dinner parties.
I pinned some of my ideas. I you have some to share feel free.

Pre-Mom's Day Breakfast

This morning I attended a Mother's Day breakfast at Hayden's school. All the first grader's sang a beautiful song and presented us moms with some pretty cool gifts.

We had a wonderful hour together. He was so stoked and excited for this morning he couldn't contain it.

I am so very grateful for my awesome little man.

DomRock Decor: Wants

I have been updating my Pintrest recently after it collected dust for a while on my facebook app collection.

http://pinterest.com/domrockstar/for-the-home/

We recently started renovating our home decor and looking at options for new furniture.

It's been a challenge deciding on our "style." I love dark modern furniture and Brian likes big and comfy.

Our house is mostly beige and tan and I hate it. If I could have tile or wood floors the modern style I love would fit fine.

We just got a major hate of our house fixed, we had the kitchen floor redone.

What are your home decor wants?

Allergies and great things.

With the month of May comes my horrible affliction of allergies (thanks mom). It's as if my sinuses are revolting and attacking me from the inside.
This makes meetings with clients kind of embarrassing. Especially first meetings where my nose is constantly running, my hands are full of tissue and I look like I wiped my nose with sandpaper.
Yeah, not very attractive. It also eliminates my chances of being able to attend band practice. Nasally, mouth breathing singers aren't very awesome.
I've been super busy at work but when I get home I crash on the couch with a box of tissue and a humidifier.

I recently was given EVEN MORE responsibility at work and have developed a nice career over here in the digital world of advertising.

It's odd how things work out sometimes.

Last year I was unhappy with the state of things in my life. Over-stressed, over-worked and under appreciated. I got the balls to ask for what I wanted and I got it.

Now here I am less than a year from when I got my promotion and I am beyond the moon with the progression of my career.

I feel all grown up and professional sometimes, and then I go home and play Saints Row the Third.

I may have a better career but I'm the same person I always was.

YAY for great things.

Like Nicole over at a Life Less Bullshit says. Do Whatever You Fucking Want!

It worked for me.