Friday, August 5, 2011

Anti-Girly Girl

I'm not a fashionista...but I watch Project Runway religiously.
I'm not a shoe or purse shopper. My favorite purses are around $12.99 and have skulls on them. Like this one I got at Ross for $12.99 that I had previously seen at the Betsey Johnson store with a girlfriend for much much much more.
My favorite shoes are Vans and Converse.
I'm not good at hair and makeup. No one really taught me.
When I was younger I was one of the guys. Played football, rode skateboards, and always came home with skinned knees and elbows.

I had a conversation the other day with a friend about being the mom of a boy versus being the mom of a girl. I was definitely built to be a mom of a boy. I probably would have died of a panic attack if I had a girl. But my friend mentioned to me that if I had a girl she'd probably be a lot like me, strong, independent and beating up the boys till high school when she would rebel against me like all teenage girls do.

I was more comfortable around boys then I was around girls growing up. Guys didn't play mind games for the most part, and they weren't too good to joke around and get dirty. Girls can be catty when you're always the new kid so it was much harder for me to make friends with them.
I was and am blunt. I say what I feel more often than keeping things to myself and most girls didn't like that.
My mom and grandma forced me into dresses for photos but I never really had a conversation with any adults in my life about sexuality, self worth or the heft of being female.
I was a late bloomer. This wasn't really a help when trying to make friends with girls. I remember when I was twelve, I was the new kid in the middle of the school year and I was a tom boy.  A certain group of girls didn't care too much for me hanging with the skater boys they were all giggling about so one very tall, much larger  girl kept picking on me. She and her friends went around telling everyone I stuffed my bra. Well, being I didn't have any boobs to fill a bra I didn't wear one. So one day she got in my face to start a fight with me and after she and her friends all laughed telling everyone I stuffed my bra I lifted my shirt up above my head and yelled "I DON'T EVEN WEAR A BRA!!!" That didn't help the situation at all and the girls continued to pick on me until it escalated into a fist fight, that made them leave me alone.

Even as a vocalist I tend to be influenced by male singers more than female.
For the most part I'm comfortable with who I am. There are moments in front of the mirror when I get frustrated that I can't style my hair like other women, feel comfortable in dresses and heels, or line my lids perfectly with eyeliner but I've become much more feminine over the last five years then I had ever been before. (Thank goodness for YouTube tutorials for makeup and hair.) I've also gained many more female friends then I had growing up. Most as tom-boyish as I am, others good for late night texts on which color dress to wear to a Spring wedding.

Tomboys RULE! Just saying...

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