Yesterday I had to ambush Hayden. He needed two more shots before school starts on Monday and since he remembers the last doctor's visit very vividly I knew it was not a good idea to forewarn him.
I picked him up from daycare early and he immediately knew something was up. He kept questioning me in the car on where we were going. He made jokes about going to Chuck E Cheese, the pinball hall or Super Hayden World which he described in detail.
We sang and talked and then when we parked at the doctors office he knew. He said "Why are we at the doctors? What are we doing here?" and started freaking out a bit. The waiting room was full of kids there for the same reason.
Once I signed in he asked me for the twentieth time "What are we doing here?" and I told him. He started crying hysterically. "I don't want a shot!!! I don't want to go to school!!!" It broke my heart. I tried to console him in the small waiting room with games on my phone. He calmed down playing Stupid Zombies.
When the nurse called us in he started freaking out again and wouldn't hold still for any of the necessary tests they had to do. The doctor came in and talked to us about the shots then left again leaving us waiting for the nurse for another fifteen minutes. When he saw the tray with the shots he again started freaking out. I held him with his face in my chest and away from the violence that was about to occur while she prepped. When she reached over to wipe his arm he flinched and cried thinking it was a shot, I let him look over she showed him the wipe and he laughed, then I buried his head back in my chest. Then in came the pain with one shot, the crying, the anger, the shock, and another shot. She handed me the shot record and left the room. He balled for a good five minutes while I held him and told him he didn't any more shots for a long time. I told him we could get ice cream and play video games since he was such a brave boy. He calmed down while I wiped his tears and then we walked to the car.
The hardest part of being a parent is seeing your child in pain. Even the necessary pains like shots are heart wrenching. Watching his anxiety build up and feeling so responsible for it just sucks. I tried to explain the necessity of shots, to keep him from getting a horrible disease that could almost kill him. He listened but I'm sure he didn't get it.
Today we go to meet his new teacher and see his class. Monday is his first day of kindergarten.