Tuesday, May 31, 2011

3 Day Weekend Redux

My weekend consisted of drama with our practice studio rental & the owner trying to screw us over (which was handled by my amazing powers of awesomeness by Monday), enrolling Hayden into kindergarten, seeing Rango at the dollar fifty theater, attending the 10 year anniversary show of the Cheyenne Saloon (a local Vegas rock bar that has been outstanding to bands here), drinking too much tequila with my friend Cathy, becoming overly fiesty because of it, hanging with my boys and lots and lots of Rock Band.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Friday Fashion or Lack Thereof: Love of blue

Jack BB Dakota stripe dress
$58 -

Zara v neck dress
$40 -

Daytrip striped top
$26 -

HilaryLaing printed stocking
$43 -

$30 -

Wet Seal skirt
$22 -

Michael Antonio faux suede shoes
$54 -

Gotta Flurt cap toe shoes
$20 -

Betsey Johnson link jewelry
$65 -

Juicy Couture metal jewelry
$46 -

Tarina Tarantino lucite jewelry
$28 -

Body jewelry
$24 -

Bangles jewelry
$3.99 -

$1.97 -

Blue is my favorite color. This friday's Fashion collage reflects all my love for blue.

Spiderman Rocking Out

This is what I woke up to this morning. That guitar plays music LOUDLY. But it was still very cute.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Brave = Ice Cream

Hayden had to get caught up on his vaccinations today. The first step in preparation for kindergarten. 
He told me it would hurt and he would cry but I promised him ice cream after for being so brave.  
He was brave and even sang me a song while waiting for the doctor to come see us.  
He was right it did hurt and I delivered with chocolate and peanut butter ice cream topped with butterfingers and m&m's. 
While we were waiting.
After the pain.
The sweet reward!

Dreams and jobs

Last year I was completely unhappy with my career. I had spent 9 1/2 years at a newspaper in Northern California as a graphic designer and after relocating to Las Vegas had the worst time finding a new job that was half as awesome as the job I walked away from.
I ended up in classified ad sales here at the newspaper. I liked it at first but soon learned I was not a sales person and I did not like to be micro-managed.
About three months ago I moved into a new position at the newspaper handling online ad coordination. I can honestly say, I LOVE MY JOB.
It's got all the elements I was hoping for when I started sending out the millions of resumes that I did. I made a dream job wish-list last year. 5 out of the 6 things I was looking for were found with this new job.
1. Provoke creativity. I want to create something that is awesome on all sorts of levels and inspires others to be creative as well.- I have been able to create awesome presentations and some online ads that my co-workers and boss have all appreciated.

2. Keeps me busy. I don’t want down time during my work hours. I want to be busy and on my toes as much as possible. I have been extremely busy. I have a ton of stuff that keeps me challenged and helps make my work day go by much faster.

3. I want to be happy. I want to be glad to get in my car and drive to work everyday. Not a job I dread and makes me cringe at the thought of Monday morning. I am obviously very happy with this new job. I love the people I work with who all appreciate me for what I get done.

4. I don’t want to be micro-managed. I don’t want unrealistic expectations hovering over my head like a scythe. I want to be able to do my work efficiently, enjoy my work and feel good when the work is done. I am no longer micro-managed. I have my work load, my Pandora going, take my lunch whenever I want, and don't have to worry about making cold calls anymore!!

5. I love challenges. I want something that challenges my abilities and teaches me new things. I am challenged every day. I am learning a whole new aspect to the newspaper industry as well as design with all the online differences, after years in print.

6. I don’t want to sit in a cubicle anymore. An office or a real desk would be nice. No more gray walls please, I need a little color. I may still be in somewhat of a cubicle, but it's a lot less drab than my last one. I have skulls, pictures, and paper flowers from my son to spruce it up.

It's nice to have the these elements in my life again. So many people I know are still looking for work, or their dream job. The advice I have is to NEVER GIVE UP! Send out millions of resumes, go to hundreds of interviews, you never know which opportunity could be THE ONE!
If I can do it, ANYONE CAN!!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Smiles and legos

He has a cabinet he calls his "house" full of toys. He sits in the kitchen building me presents from his house.

Silver Lining

On Friday, after my post on Thursday we talked.
We always talk when we have problems but sometimes we both feel we're making progress and then two days later everything we said is erased with one's actions, words, or neglect. But we talked, and we both came away feeling we made progress.
With Thursday's post I didn't intend on the reader to feel I was blaming him for our problems. Relationships have many complicated nuances that NO ONE outside that relationship could ever understand. Our problems are caused by both of us. I am responsible for my share just as he is.
We have an amazing relationship, one neither one of us wants to fall apart. We're both putting in an effort and fighting to stay together. Relationships constantly evolve and we're in the midst of an evolutionary transformation that we're working through.
In my post on Thursday I said "I've lost hope in it ever getting better." Well, I do have hope that it will get better now. We have work we need to do, one major thing I need to work on is being more positive and less hopeless.
Some people who read my post of course were worried when I specifically told them not to be and in turn went running to Brian to ask him what was wrong, or if he was ok. Which is fine if you're his friend, you have that right. He most likely won't talk about it. He's private about that stuff, and as I stated doesn't like me writing about it. And also as I stated, writing is how I work through stuff. Anyone who knows him knows he doesn't read anything on the internet unless he's shown. So show him this...
Brian : Thank you for everything. You are my best friend, my love, my partner, and have given me everything I never thought I could have in this life. We will work through this, just like we have everything else. And don't forget we need coffee filters. I love you.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Friday Fashion or Lack There Of: Sexy Bombshell Summer

I LOVE Polyvore and I made this collage to enter a contest to win a $500 Victoria Secret spree! I would wear ALL of these things, if I looked like these models.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

“Be who you are, and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”—Dr. Seuss

I started this blog to keep writing about my life as a vocalist in a metal band, a mother, and a wife.
I have been a writer since I was in elementary school and writing has always been my emotional outlet. I don't write this blog to be appropriate or to tip toe around things that might make people uncomfortable, especially friends or family. So I'm going to stop tip-toeing now. Brian had made comments about me "putting our business out there" and how he didn't like it. Yet 11 years ago before he even knew what I looked like he read my innermost thoughts in my zine Klusterfuct. So now that things are falling apart, I'm not going to compromise who I am and how I deal with things.
I know my family reads this and I know sometimes what I write makes them "worry" about me. I don't want anyone to worry about me. I'm ok and I will get through this as I've gotten through every other pile of crap life has handed me. I will occasionally need some emotional support, and I will need to feel loved like everyone does when they are having a hard time.
This is unabashedly me.
A huge shift in the dynamic of my marriage happened about a year ago.
This last year has been the worst year of my life, seriously. After 11 years together everything has changed and frankly I've lost hope in it ever getting better.
I've tried everything I possibly can. I've been through all the emotional highs and lows of trying to save this but I can't force him to be the person he used to be and I can't force him to care if he just doesn't anymore. We can't take back what we've done and said to each-other in the last year.

Last night after I put Hayden to bed I drank two glasses of wine and balled my eyes out watching that lame ass movie with Jennifer Lopez in it called "The Backup Plan." Seriously, this is the lowest I've felt.

I'm dealing with it one day at a time and still don't know what the future holds.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


A story of a woman who didn't believe her husband when he said he didn't love her anymore is a great read for anyone going through issues in their marriage.
I wish I would have read this over a year ago when things started getting bad in my marriage. Instead I did and am still doing all the things I shouldn't.

Monday, May 16, 2011


On Saturday I attended a Beer & Tequila Fest held by a local discount liquor store.
I am a lover of good beer and this fest was the perfect place to try new good beers.
I loved most of the fruity beers which are a nice refreshment in the hot Vegas summers.
Of all the beers (probably at least a hundred) that I tasted these three were my favorites!
The first is the Wasatch Apricot Hefeweizen. It was my favorite of all the beers and I went back three times to refill my glass. Wasatch is from Park City, Utah which is close to Vegas, so the beers are easy to find here.
The second is Wild Blue Lager by Blue Dawg Brewing. It's a blueberry lager with 8 percent alcohol. So it's sweetly strong!
The third is Shiner Ruby Redbird. It's not a fruity beer but does have Ginger and Red Grapefruit. It was really crisp and had a light alcohol percentage at 3.5%.
I found a few more I liked but by that point was too tipsy to remember to take pictures of them.
I loved the whole experience and can't wait to go next year!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Friday Fashion or Lack Thereof: UK Inspired

I've been listening to a lot of Kate Nash and watching a lot of English shows lately.
Last night I had a dream I went shopping in London. This is what I would have bought:
One shoulder knit dress
$119 -

Rayon dress
$39 -

Kensie dolman sleeve top
$78 -

Isabella Oliver jersey tank
$49 -

Old Navy ruffle top
$16 -

TopShop cotton skirt
$56 -

Crochet stocking
$25 -

Black sandal
$50 -

Forever21 bootie shoes
$35 -

Vilac wood umbrella
$30 -

Square sunglass
$7.99 -