Every married couple with kids has those friends who don't have kids or are single.
Most of us with kids used to be single, more financially carefree and able to make spontaneous plans at the drop of a hat.
Some of us adapt into juggling parenthood and social lives well, others have a hard time with it, and then there are the few who just don't care for parenthood and stay in the "single carefree" mindset.
Being a good parent means we to have a PLAN before we can do anything that isn't Chuck E Cheese, the park, or a family restaurant.
We have to have a babysitter, money for the babysitter which requires we know the hours we're going to be gone, and we need more than a couple hours notice. If the sitter isn't available or we don't have the money to afford her then one of us has to stay home. In a partnership that usually means we compromise and take turns.
In my relationship we also have to juggle the band into our parenthood dynamic. Playing shows, practice and networking might as well be a second job.
Brian and I both enjoy going out and being social. We enjoy doing things together but more times than not one of us has to stay home due to finances.
When one person gets to go out more than the other or makes no effort to PLAN for us both to go out then tensions arise. Its a sucky thing to not have any "adult" time with the person you love and it causes problems in relationships.
How do those of you with kids deal with these issues?
You know what I think, this is probably the cause of a lot of divorces - the parents just go stir crazy together or one gets to go out more than the other because the family support just isn't there for whatever reason and a babysitter is a luxury expense most of us just can't afford. On the upside, when I got divorced it got a whole lot better because each of us now has built-in periods where we get "adult time". Sadly if you want to stay in the marriage it's usually at the expense of a regular social life.
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